"The name's Ash. Housewares."

Quick on the heels of moving into our own chez nous, we set about furnishing it with a singularity of mind. Fortunately, the place came with the basics - bed, TV, couch - to which we immediately added a microwave and super-sweet laptop.

Next step was a day trip to Ikea, which is best described as a homewares theme-park. It's one shop, but it's about the size of 277. There's a one-way path through the shop, which itself consists of endless perfectly-done-up mock rooms, as though you've wandered onto a film set. This picture is Anna sitting in a full size mock studio apartment...

It's a bliss of bedding, a kingdom of kitchenware, a rapture of rugs, a treasure of toiletries. It has a warehouse section that looks like the final shot of Raiders of the Lost Ark.