Softdrink roundup

Imagine my surprise when Cherry Coke seemed to vanished from the UK over the last couple of months. You heard right! Despite having come all this way expecting to enjoy the bountiful softdrink supplies that the British Empire has to offer, apparently fate had it in for me. Where did all the Cherry Coke go? Once it was available in all the little dairies. Now it was nowhere to be seen - expect as 355ml 6 packs of Diet Cherry Coke (yuck!) at Sainsbury's.

My theory was that, with the triumphant launch of Coke Zero, the UK found itself unable to support surplus softdrink brands, and my beloved was the first to suffer from the over-flooded market. However, I am in luck! As the initial burst of Coke Zero enthusiasm fades, Cherry Coke seems to be making a comeback! At first it was just the weird German version with the ugly label, but now I have found a supplier of the genuine article in both cans and bottles. Hooray! Time to stockpile!

In addition, I found a import shop in Covent Garden called CyberCandy. Lo and behold, they have a collection of foreign softdrinks. I have now tried the following:

• Cherry Pepsi (doesn't quite reach the lofty heights of Cherry Coke, but a pretty good effort)
• Vanilla Pepsi (at least as good as the Coke version, if not better)
• Mountain Dew: Code Red (waste of time)
• Dr Pepper: Berries & Cream (also not fantastic, but it grows on you)

There are also quite a few fruit-flavoured ranges floating around. I bought some food at a Hare Krishna restaurant last week, with a fizzy guava drink. Yum! They have others which I will be trying. Likewise, the takeaway sandwhich franchise Pret-a-Manger have their own proprietary range which I'm happy to endorse. Try the fizzy elderflower. Mmm.

Finally, there is also a popular energy drink here called Irn-Bru ("Iron Brew") which, despite being orange, is basically a tasty caffeinated creaming soda.

From the "Softdrinks around the World" department, my friend Hugh has submitted Kickapoo Joy Juice from Malaysia. He says it's "a mix of fanta and lemonade but is really not all that sweet". Still, looks pretty good to me!

Weekly roundup

Just wanted to make note of a few little extras here.

First up, went to see Mogwai last Friday night at the Royal Albert Hall - thanks to James Chapman. They're a 'Scottish post-rock' group, known for lengthy (mostly) instrumental pieces, built around the elaboration of a single theme. Very hypnotic, and very loud. I wore my ear plugs (I'm so ashamed!) but I expect Emma and Jaimz would approve. Lead in band was glitch musician Kid606. All in all, a pretty swell gig. Was also nice to visit the RAH, a very impressive building from the late 1800s.

In other news, I popped over to Waterloo at lunchtime today to see the exhibit of Quentin Blake illustrations at the National Theatre. This is a collection of all the work that he did for Roald Dahl over the years (including after the death of the author). I grew up with his versions of many of Dahl's books - in particular, The Twits, The Witches and The BFG - so it was pretty cool to have the original works right in front of me. He's simply a terrific artist. Very kinetic use of inks and watercolours. I even downloaded an .mp3 interview with Quentic Blake and listened to it as an audio tour of the gallery. No postcards available (for shame!) but I did buy a mug with a picture of Mr & Mrs Twit on the front, and Mrs Twit's glass eye on the inside! Ewww.

Dinner with the Saldanhas

We had a lovely dinner on Saturday night with Hugo, his sister Tanya, and friends Tarryn and Hamish. Tanya made a lovely vegie lasagne with white sauce, and I had seconds. Mmmm, wish I had some now.

Lots of good conversation, and even more laughs. Such a pain the Tube shuts down at midnight, because we got there about 7:30 then suddenly it was time to go! Anyway, big thanks to the chef. Our turn next :)

Salisbury & Stonehenge

Climbin' up on Salisbury Hill
I could see the city light

- Peter Gabriel

This weekend Anna, Jan and I went on a day trip to Salisbury (pronounced Sols-bree), in Wiltshire to the west of London. Dating back to the iron age, the city of “Old Sarum” has the usual history we’ve come to expect in England – the Romans built a fortified crossroads on the site, the Normans developed a walled castle, and a cathedral was erected by 1092.

Due to tensions between the clergy and the military stationed nearby (who were taking pot shots at the stained glass windows), the cathedral was resited at “New Sarum” (current day Salisbury). According to legend, Bishop Poore fired an arrow into the air and erected the cathedral where it fell. Given that this is some miles away, it now claimed that the arrow hit a white deer, which continued to run and died on the spot where the Cathedral now exists.

The rest of Old Sarum was eventually destroyed, and the remains are visible just outside the city in the form of a large grassy hill, rather like a pa.

Salisbury Cathedral

The new cathedral, however, is a thing of wonder. It was built entirely in 38 years, which means that it is contiguous in style - in contrast to the motley appearance of most English cathedrals, built over several intervening stylistic periods. The spire is 123 metres, and is the tallest in the UK.

Due to the marshy landscape, the cathedral is built on a bed of gravel chips. During drought, when the water tables recede, there is fear that the gravel will dry out and crumble. There is a plumbline in the floor where the transept intersects the nave, so that they can test the water levels with a long pole.

Displayed in the nave are a medieval clock - Europe’s oldest - from AD1386, and the tomb of William de Longespée, 3rd Earl of Salisbury. It was always suspected that he was poisoned by Hubert de Burgh. Bizarrely, when the tomb was opened in 1791, the well-preserved corpse of a rat was found inside his skull. Scientists have since discovered traces of arsenic in the rat. Mystery solved! The rat is now on display in a case at the Salisbury and South Wiltshire Museum.

Finally, the cathedral chapter house (through the magnificent adjoining cloister) displays the best-preserved of the four surviving original copies of the Magna Carta, the “Great Charter of Freedoms” from 1215 by which “the will of the king could be bound by law”.

After a tense wait for lunch at the slowest pub in England, we only just made it back in time for our coach to Stonehenge!

Stonehenge

Our coach took a nice ride through the countryside, where we were able to see lots of thatched houses, Sting’s palatial estate (where Madonna and Guy Ritchie met, and later honeymooned), and a view of Old Sarum.

We arrived at Stonehenge, now fenced off and abutted by a motorway. Somewhat shabby treatment for a UNESCO World Heritage site. The beautiful sun we had enjoyed all day disappeared behind a cloud. But the sky was still suitably atmospheric.

Stonehenge is a Neolithic and Bronze Age megalithic monument, composed of earthworks (the “henge” part) surrounding a circular setting of large standing stones. The famous aspect (i.e. the stones) were erected between 2500 BC and 2000 BC, though the surrounding circular earth bank and ditch have been dated to about 3100 BC, and even this was preceded by a wooden monument dating to 8000 BC. Stonehenge was not built by the druids. Rather, they rediscovered it.

The work and intelligence behind the site is very impressive. 43 of the smaller “blue” stones were brought from a quarry in Wales, over 250 km away. 30 enormous “sarsen” stones were brought from 40 km away. Only a third to a half of these stones is visible above ground (!). The site is aligned northeast–southwest, and references the solstice and equinox points such that, on a midsummer's morning, the sun rises close to the Heelstone, and the first rays fall directly into the centre of the monument between the horseshoe arrangement. (Special thanks to the aliens who assisted in its construction, of course.)

Obviously it was disappointing not to be able to go up to the stones, but given that people had been chipping away souvenirs and sitting down to picnics on the Heelstone, I think we all accept that the site must be preserved for the future. Now if only they would get rid of the birds nesting in the sarsen stones!

Interestingly the surrounding landscape is littered with Neolithic long barrows (i.e. trapezoidal earth mounds traditionally interpreted as collective tombs).

London Wildlife

I finally managed to get a photo of the Tottenham Court Road tube mice! Well, one mouse.











Also, I stumbled across the same squirrel that Anna had spotted on our street earlier in the week - and I managed to get a few snaps. Although completely substandard, these are our first official squirrel photos!

Buckingham Palace

Our Saturday trip for this week was a "Royal Day Out" at Buckingham Palace, which is only open for a short period each year. This began with a tour of the Queen Mother's art collection, which had a few interesting works by Gainsborough and Sargent etc. Nice, but not spectacular. More interesting was our audio tour of the State Rooms in the Palace itself. These didn't differ too much from what we saw in the palaces in Sicily or Naples, but it was satisfying to stand in the courtyard directly beyond the front facade of the Palace. After all these years of wondering what was behind there, I can finally reveal that it is a big parking lot covered in pink chip gravel. And it looks cheap. Oh well!

To be honest, the palatial interiors, though requisitely grandiose, are somewhat gaudy. Red velvet everywhere (including on the walls), pointlessly detailed chandeliers (they're too high up to really appreciate) and everything else is gold-gilted (but looks spraypainted). It's sad to think how much £ has gone into these things, yet they actually look like cheap replicas from a film set. However, I will confess that the extra jewellery pieces we saw are impressive. The Queen owns some terrifyingly large diamonds, emeralds and rubies. And a couple of nice, miniature triptyches by Duccio and Agnolo Daddi. Credit where credit is due!

Highlights were a collection of the Queen's dresses from her public appearances over the years, the ballroom where honours ceremonies are performed, New Zealand's order of merit badge on display, and the small piano conservatory that was the most beautiful room in the palace (and has a great view of the private gardens).

We took a wee break part-way for a nice pub lunch, before returning to the Royal Mews. I was interested to learn that 'mews' is a technical term from the art of falconry, and that the word has since become synonymous with 'stables' ever since Henry VIII housed his horses in a falconers after his own stables burned down.

We only got to see a couple of horses at the Royal Mews, but there was an impressive collection of carriages, each with its own fascinating story (thanks to a tour guide). There is also one stable in which the Rolls-Royce limousines are kept. They actually replace the "Spirit of Ecstasy" hood ornament with royal emblems. Tsk tsk, but then I suppose the divine right of monarchs at least extends to 'pimping their rides'.

Spent the afternoon almost shopping. I say almost, because we lost our second cashflow card to Sainsbury's since arriving in the UK.

Wicked

Anna and I went to Oxford Circus to see the new musical Wicked - a ‘revisionist’ version of The Wizard of Oz, in which the Wicked Witch isn’t so wicked afterall. It’s absolutely brilliant – the script is crackling with intelligence and adult humour, and the music is hip and modern, and in parts very catchy. The London cast has US actress Idina Menzel reprising the role of Elphaba (the Wicked Witch), and Australian Helen Dallimore as Glinda (the Good Witch). See it, see it, see it.

Paddington Station [update]

I was recently able to introduce Anna to my Peruvian friend at the train station.

SQUIRREL WATCH: Also, Anna was lucky enough to spot a squirrel on our street while walking home the other evening. I am jealous.

Amsterdam

Work flew me to Amsterdam on Sunday to attend the IBC2006 Exhibition, a "showcase for the latest technology and foremost business ideas in broadcasting and media". (Think Big Boys' Toys without the booth babes.) It was a looong day, starting with a 3:30am bus ride to Luton Airport and with me getting home at 12:30am the next day. I was so tired in the morning that I actually fell asleep during take-off!

The exhbition was a lot of fun though, and I spent most of the day walking around with a grin on my face. We had a booth, showing off the Codex Digital machine and how this could be supported by access to the Sohonet network. It seemed to be a big draw, and was pretty busy every time I popped in for a catch-up. We also had a 4K Dalsa camera plugged in, which was the only 4k digital camera at the show. Go us!

Other things I found interesting: Autodesk's demostrations of the Flame post-production suite (that thing is seriously badass, with the operators whipping up complicated FX in minutes), a greenscreen linked to a camera with infra-red sensors so that the background would rotate in real-time 3D to properly match the movement of the camera, Adobe training sessions (picked up a couple of new Photoshop tricks!) and Sony's HD displays and sweet HD cameras.

The highlight for me was a presentation by Aardman Animations, showing the history of their intellectual property (ie. all their old films and characters) and the changing technology they've used over the years. They also played clips from their upcoming work and did some Q&As. I also learned something interesting about the 'location' of the character in stop-mo films. Turns out Nick Park, Wallace & Gromit creator, actually does a mock film with himself performing the roles. He then schools the animators so that they can act out or perform the roles too. Then finally there are the voice actors! Curious - who is the real actor here?

Also managed to get in an hour or so in Amsterdam for dinner, and saw some interesting things that I won't mention in the same article as my job. Another time, perhaps!

NZ WATCH: I shared my flight back with a whole bunch of holidaying kiwis.

Bath

On Saturday, Anna and I went on a London Walks daytrip to Bath. It's a really beautiful little city, and is now listed as a World Heritage Site due to its consistent Georgian architecture. Famed for its 3 hot natural springs, it has suffered through a series of unremarkable names over the years - Aquae Sulis (Roman, "the waters of Sulis"), Baðum (Saxon, "at the baths") and now Bath Spa.

The Romans built a fortification and temple complex around the hot springs, dedicated to the goddess Minerva, the goddess of healing.

This fell into disrepair when the Romans abandoned England. The incoming Saxons built a large monstary, and the Normans added a cathedral that was then demolished and built over three times, finally during the Elizabethan period. John Wood the elder and John Wood the younger redeveloped the whole area in the 18th Century, and it took on its final appearance, as retained today.

Jane Austen lived in Bath for 5 years, and wrote two novels set there: Northanger Abbey and Persuasion. However, she didn't like the city and left "with what happy feelings of escape". Another famous resident was Sally Lunn, who designed her famous buns here. We tried to buy one at her original house, but the process was too difficult and commercialised. We bought a whopping amount of homemade fudge instead.

All in all, very pleasant. We enjoyed strolling around the cobbled streets looking at the lively shops. The cathedral is a delight, with a very organic feel to the walls and marvellous fanned vaults. The only disappoint was the baths themselves. Although the ruins were interesting, they and the museum were choked with tourists. Yuck.

After a £30 million investment, they have reopened the spas. We intend to come back and have a soak one weekend.

A night out with Danny Boyle

Went to a special screening of 28 Days Later on Friday, with the director Danny Boyle in attendance. A really great film, and I thoroughly enjoyed watching it again. Was interesting to see Christopher Ecclestone playing the villain after I'd gotten used to him playing Doctor Who!

Danny gave a little interview afterwards, with some audience Q&A. Like Gary Oldman, he was also very down-to-earth with intelligent and insightful answers. I only wish it could have been a longer. Danny strikes me as the kind of guy you could enjoy having a few beers with.

As with Gary, here's the best of my recollections. Sadly these are three days after the fact, and I've had a crazy weekend in between!

On filming 28 Days Later - Made for only £8 million. A "cheap" film, relatively, and made to put the big budget The Beach behind him. Most common question he gets asked is how he managed to film in an abandoned London central. (A nice change for him, as previously he would be asked about the toilet scene in Trainspotting.) They shot at 4am in the morning, in June, when the light is surprisingly good. There was still a reasonable amount of traffic though, and the London council won't close down streets for small productions. However, they were allowed to 'ask' people to keep out of shot. Luckily, they hired a bunch of female students to do this job. It seems that most early morning traffic in London is comprised of burly truck drivers, who don't mind being directed by pretty girls.

On the chimpanzees - Apparently there are only a couple of places in the world where you can film chimpanzee 'actors'. One is in LA, where they filmed the PG Tips ads. The other is in northern Europe somewhere (I forget where, exactly), a chimp circus. The handler allowed the chimps to get used to the cages first, and then they filmed on site. The scenes with the scary chimps freaking-out? They're actually happy, and have just been made to sound terrifying.

On the script - Alex Garland is a big Romero fan, and stays up all night watching zombie films. Danny isn't really into zombie films, and mentioned several times that he doesn't consider 28 Days Later to be a zombie film. It is a thriller.

On the ending(s) - When filming, they ran out of money to shoot the scripted ending (what appears in the film). Instead, they shot a variation where Jim dies. This was exceedingly bleak, and the American distributors asked if there was any way Danny could change the ending. Yes, of course, he said. Give me some more money!

Film stock - The film is famously shot on cheap £1,000 digital cameras. Danny tested the idea on a couple of short films (one starring Chris Ecclestone), and was pleased with the results, so bought 15 for 28 Days Later. This enabled him to shoot a number of variations, and was invaluable during the London shoot, because it enabled him to make the sequence look a lot longer on film that it was in reality. The final end sequence was shot on 35mm, intended to be a luxurious contrast to the rest of the film. However, it was an overcast day, so the effect didn't really work. He tried a similar thing on his new film Sunshine by going from 35mm to 70mm . This also didn't work.

On 28 Weeks Later - This is a sequel, being shot now in London. Alex Garland is one of the 3 writers, so it should have some of the feel of the original. They are filming in 16mm to give it a unique look, like the original. Danny will be doing some second unit direction. (He is going stir crazy editing Sunshine over several months.) Will we see a Danny Boyle mark on the film, then? No! He'll just do what he's told.

On Alien: Resurrection - He was said to be filming this at one stage, but pulled out. I got a chance to ask him why. Apparently the script was too CGI heavy for him. Ironically, Sunshine is very CGI heavy, but he says the timing wasn't right back then. A Danny Boyle Alien film could have been very interesting...

Went and said hello afterwards. All my DVDs are in New Zealand, so I asked him to sign my ticket stub instead. Was able to pass on Frank's glowing sentiments about A Life Less Ordinary. What a cool guy. (Danny, that is, not Frank.)

NZ WATCH: Turns out 28 Days Later did all its previewing in New Zealand (!). And we didn't like it much, so he made a lot of changes. I apologised, and explained that Anna and I both really liked it.

PS: Danny is from Manchester. I always thought he was Irish or Socttish for some reason.

Footloose: The Musical

Got word that the Canadians we met in Scotland were heading back through London. Initially we were talking about going to a medieval-themed banquet evening, but the reviews were a bit iffy so we talked them into going to the Footloose musical instead. The evening was a real bargain, dinner and show for £20. Meet the girls in Covent Garden, and headed into a bit of dive called The Roadhouse. Kind of like a Hard Rock Cafe, but without the cool signed stuff. Cocktails were cheaper than beers, but the food was pretty average. Anna and I had hotdogs, I think Tiff had a burger, but Ally got the best deal - a pretty nice looking set of fajitas on a hot plate. Mmm.

It was nice to see them again, and we had a bit of a chat about this & that before heading off to the show. Seating was a pretty casual affair - I drank a can of Cherry Mountain Dew that I'd bought at CyberCandy (they import foreign confectionary). The show began, with no warning, with a eardrum-piercing blast of noise. You could see the audience jump a mile in their seats. One way to get attention, I suppose.

Anna and I were initially very concerned - the show is pretty damn cheesy - and we even apologised to the girls at half-time. Fortunately they were enjoying it, and there were some good moments. Basically they'd taken the 80s soundtrack to the film, and made each of them a show number. Some worked better than others, and there were some frankly bizarre production choices. Bonnie Tyler's Hero was turned into a Coyote Ugly meets The Village People freakfest. What the hell?

In the end, the dancing was fun and the music was fun (now and then) and for £20 you can't really complain too much. Amy Pemberton (who played Ariel) was terrific, and IMHO the best thing abouthe show. In fact, it was almost as if the show was less about Ren moving into a small town than about Ariel trying to get out. Curious.

Tiff and Ally are back on a plane home now, and we wish them safe travels and hope to hear from them again. Lovely!

PS: We introduced Tiff to the furtive pleasure of openly drinking bottled beer on public transport.

A night out with Gary Oldman

Monday morning, I got an email from a workmate notifying me of a live interview with Gary Oldman that night, in a little dive in Brick Lane. Needless to say I was thrilled by the opportunity, and had trouble sitting still for the rest of the day. After wandering, disoriented, through half of East London, I finally found the venue and settled into a comfy chair, near the front, with a pint of San Miguel (that was later to haunt me during the 3 hour interview).

The interview was conducted by Jack English, a photographer and friend of Gary’s. Jack has done a lot of on-set photography, including on Gary’s directorial debut Nil By Mouth. Gary, who had been in Paris only two hours earlier (working on the next Harry Potter film), came across as wonderfully down to earth and intelligent. He spoke about a number of his roles, to the accompaniment of short film clips, as well as generally on various topics.

I have summarised the interview as well as I can remember, and he made many comments that should be instructive for actors, writers and directors alike. (Please note, all quotes are paraphrased from memory.)

• On acting – Wouldn’t describe himself as a method actor, but uses whatever works. Menthol is used in the industry to make one’s eyes water for crying, but when asked to ‘weep’ (apparently a more difficult and subtle effect), he flicked through a book of photos of his absent son in order to appropriately upset himself. On Sid & Nancy he put small scratchy crystals in his eyes to irritate the lenses, in order to appear drunk and bleary. His enthusiasm for such tactics has waned as he’s gotten older, and he wouldn’t repeat that experience.
• On rehearsals – They are very valuable to both actors and directors, and were a key part of Nil By Mouth. However, they are more and more being sacrificed as studios try to speed up their production timelines. Wolfgang Peterson didn’t want to do any for Air Force One and was then stuck during production when Gary baulked at some crappy dialogue. Cheaper to discover such things at rehearsals!
• On choosing roles – Nowadays, he prefers jobs that are close to home and don’t take long to shoot, so he has more time for his family and script-writing. Ads are good (he's done one recently for Nokia).
• On aging – He used to get offers for 19 to 20 year old rebels, and now gets “bookish 35 year olds”. It's as if this change happened overnight!
• On playing villains – This was a running joke throughout the evening. However, if he 'll be paid a lot, and doesn't waste much time, he'll play a villain. Is currently considering whether to play the bad guy in Die Hard 4 on these criteria.
• On Dracula – Wasn’t in a good place at the time, and found himself at loggerheads with director Francis Ford Coppola. Later apologised to Francis at Cannes. Also, funny to note that Keanu Reeves didn’t like the homoerotic undertones between their characters. “Dracula has been around for a very long time. It’s clear he now swings both ways.” Makeup and costume took about 6 hours each day.
• On True Romance – His character, Drexl, only has a few minutes screen time, so Gary went to town in order to make a big impact. He got the works: a scar, a milky eye, dreadlocks and nasty teeth.
  
• On Hannibal – Gary plays the bodily paralysed, and horribly disfigured paedeophile, Mason Verger. Ironically, despite only being able to move one lidless eye, this was his most liberating role. (To get the required effect, there was an elaborate contraption under the prosthetic face prising his eyelids apart. Someone was on hand to add eye-drops.)
• Roles he has passed on – Didn’t really want to say, but mentioned My Left Foot (it was only meant to be a small BBC production under an untried director, whereas he had an opportunity to work on another film with a favourite director), and Schindler’s List (didn’t want to spend 16 weeks in Poland in winter).
• His favourite directors – Alex Clarke, John Cassavetes and Francis Ford Coppola (“the greatest living American film director”). Would like to work with Jim Jarmusch, Tim Burton or Martin Scorcese. However, Scorcese isn’t as good as he used to be. Complained about the casting of Cameron Diaz in Gangs of New York (didn’t we all?) as an example of Scorcese “starfucking”. Nonetheless, Gary is greatly enamoured of Scorcese’s recent documentaries No Direction Home: Bob Dylan and A Personal Journey with Martin Scorsese Through American Movies.
• On Luc Besson – His direction is very specific. Probably too specific. His films are all big cartoons. Praises Luc's first film, The Last Battle, as his best.
• On Oliver Stone – An excellent director. Gave him a lot of free reign on JFK, allowing him to research the character of Lee Harvey Oswald throgh interviews with ex-FBI agents and former acquaintances. However, notes that Oliver Stones “mindfucks” his actors, is “mean” and a bit of a “prick”.
• On the Scott brothers – Tony shoots with 5 cameras, and moves through scenes very quickly. Ridley, by contrast, is concerned with perfecting the mise en scene, even to the extent of pausing midshot to correct background details. Tony yells and swears. Ridley likes to do sketches on set, as he has an art direction background.
• On directing Nil By Mouth – As an actor, he has learned from his experiences with other directors. For example, he doens't want to be a meany like Oliver Stone. By contrast, actors thrive on praise, and being complimented by the director (for example, following the screening of dailies) will “get an actor through the week”. Once he’s got his master shot, he likes to let the actors try variations of their own. He also likes to shoot during rehearsals, when the actors don't know about it! Got his sister to act in Nil By Mouth, and gave her gin to help her relax. High praise for Ray Winstone and Kathy Burke. Was happy to use non-actors from his old neighbourhood. Liked having “dirty frames”, ie. where there are unfocused elements in the foreground etc. Describes some of the “happy accidents” that occurred during filming. For example, he noticed that the child actress wasn’t enjoying herself. He took her aside, and asked what the problem was. Apparently her parents were making her act in films when she didn't want to. Gary promised that she didn’t have to do any more dialogue, and in the end her character developed into a mute witness to the domestic violence, which was a lot more powerful. His favourite shot is the child in the playground who, with one backward glance, is able to penetrate through a character's “bullshit” and lies, straight to the “soul”. Jack English compared the opening sequence of the film to a Cassavetes film.
• On financing Nil By Mouth – Was initially very difficult to get money. Luc Besson happened to hear about the film and, on a napkin, wrote up a deal that got the film made. (Though this deal was very favourable to Luc.) When the film was released, a number of offended inviduals asked why they hadn’t been personally approached for investment. They had, but had turned the film down.
• On Hollywood – Gary was asked whether he thought Hollywood was out of ideas. He owned up to being part of the endless prequel/sequel cycle (with his roles in Batman Begins and Harry Potter), but noted that there are plenty of good films below the radar. He quoted Kevin Bacon’s The Woodsman as an example. (A great film!)
• The future – Currently writing an adaptation of Siamese Twin novel Chang & Ang. Ballpakrs the production costs at about US$50 million. Says the scriptwriting is easier for him than for Nil By Mouth (which was written, he says, over 30 years) because there is always the soruce material to fall back on. Has heard that listening to tribal drumbeats is an effective remedy for writer’s block, but he hasn’t yet tested this theory.

All in all, very interesting. I took advantage of the informal setting to introduce myself afterwards. I was able to confirm that his portrayal of Commissioner Jim Gordon in Batman Begins was based on Frank Miller's Batman: Year One comic book. Shame that he was underutilised by Chris Nolan.

Gary was also kind enough to sign my Nil By Mouth DVD and pose for a photo (taken by Jack English no less!). He even remembered my name at the end. What an affable fellow!

"The name's Ash. Housewares."

Quick on the heels of moving into our own chez nous, we set about furnishing it with a singularity of mind. Fortunately, the place came with the basics - bed, TV, couch - to which we immediately added a microwave and super-sweet laptop.

Next step was a day trip to Ikea, which is best described as a homewares theme-park. It's one shop, but it's about the size of 277. There's a one-way path through the shop, which itself consists of endless perfectly-done-up mock rooms, as though you've wandered onto a film set. This picture is Anna sitting in a full size mock studio apartment...

It's a bliss of bedding, a kingdom of kitchenware, a rapture of rugs, a treasure of toiletries. It has a warehouse section that looks like the final shot of Raiders of the Lost Ark.

Our new home

We have finally weaned ourself off the kindness of others, and have taken a nice, large flat for ourselves in Golders Green. We are now even closer to the Tube station, though there's a bit less foliage. Nonetheless, we still have a very pleasant, English outlook, and are in what appears to be a quiet neighbourhood (to the extent that we have even yet to see the downstairs tenants). Best of all - we finally have room to swing a cat (not that we would ever do that, because we love animals).

We also have a number of shops just up the road, a convenience for which we are grateful. I hasten to add that there are plenty of kosher bakeries and butchers - but I have yet to find a mezuzah!

Scotland - Day 3

We stopped at Invermoriston for our morning coffee and bathroom breaks while on our way to Drumnadrochit, to see if we could spot Nessie in Loch Ness! Fiona told us how the Scottish parliament had added the Loch Ness Monster to their endangered species legislation, to protect her should she ever be properly found.

Tales of an unknown animal living in the loch have been around for centuries. The earliest report is from the Life of St. Columba, 6^th Century. The Saint frightened off the monster with “his holy hand”.

Nowadays a popular theory is that the creature is a pleisiosaur. I have been fascinated with cryptozoology since I was a child (not that I used that word when I was six), and Nessie is my all time favourite cryptid.

Anyway, we stopped off briefly at the Official Loch Ness Monster Exhibition, so I could buy a bunch of tourist rubbish. We then went to the shore, where I was going to have a swim – but the ‘beach’ was far too rocky and painful to negotiate, so I had to settle for dipping my toes.

Despite staring into the depths for mere minutes here and there, we were not rewarded with a sighting. Que sera!

Afterwards we drove through Inverness, the capital of the Highlands, to the location of the Battle of Culloden, at Culloden Moor. This was the last civil war battle between the Jacobites and the people on the side of the British government. Fiona told us a bit about the battle, and how the government army decimated the Jacobite army in less than an hour (thanks to the absolutely rubbish command of Bonnie Prince Charlie), and proceeded to ruthlessly kill any wounded or fleeing Jacobites, and their families standing at the sidelines waiting to claim their bodies.

Of course, this story gave us an appetite, so we had to stop in Aviemore for a lunch break. The town is home to many ski-resorts in operation during the winter season – it looked a bit like Ohakune or the twon at Franz Josef. Anna and I had an awesome lunch at a bustling café run by a kiwi. In the summer the Blue Mountains actually look blue because they are completely covered in heather.

Next stop to check out the Bruar Falls and the ‘posh’ shops.

We passed through Perth, and as we made our way back into Edinburgh, we got a great view of the old Forth Bridge (Forth Rail Bridge) that was built in 1890, and has been named the #1 tourist attraction in Edinburgh! When it was first built it was regarded as the eighth wonder of the world.

After arriving in Edinburgh, and making our farewells, Anna and I had to hoof out to the airport poste haste to make our flight back. We made it just in time, then it got delayed on the runway for an hour, then the Tube wasn’t working properly and after a couple more hours delay we had to catch a series of buses home. Hooray! Welcome back to London! The greatest city in the world!

There was a note on the back of our bus. “Tiaraidhan drasda” - Until next time!

Scotland - Day 2

We started out driving through Kyle of Lochalsh, and over the Skye Bridge to the Isle of Skye. Stopped in Broadford for petrol and to have a nosey in the little gas station tourist shop (we bought fudge and a celtic pendant), before making our way to the ruins of Cill Chrisod (“Christ’s Church”).

This 16th century church was abandoned in 1840. Fiona showed us an example of a Celtic cross, which combines the Christian cross with solar symbology, as previously worshipped by the Celts. We explored the ruins (Anna found a giant slug, and I stepped in poo) and searched the gravestones for our Scottish ancestors (not that the names Beaumont or Travis jump out as being Scottish – although we did actually find Beaumont in a book about tartans).

Next stop Sligachan, where we walked deep into the rainswept heathers to gaze at the Cuillin Mountains (once active volcanos) while Fee recounted the battle between Scathach (Ski-han), warrior giantess of Skye, and Cuchulainn (Coo-cool-in), the giant of Ireland. [Mikey note: Cuchulainn was the inspiration for Slaine, comic fans!]

According to Fiona, they fell in love. According to Tiffany and the internet, they only trained together. On our way back to the bus, we could hear bag pipes echoing through the valley as a young boy played them on the bridge below. How authentic.

We then drove to Portree, capital of Skye, where we had lunch with Tiff and Alli at “The Isles Inn”. All four of us braved the Scottish culinary test of courahe – haggis.

Haggis is made with sheep's 'pluck' (heart, liver and lungs) minced with onion, oatmeal, suet, spices and salt – boiled in the animal's stomach for approximately an hour – and served with "neeps and tatties" (turnip and potatoes). And actually, it’s quite tasty. Ramirez needn’t have been so judgmental.

As we drove further on, Fiona pointed out the Old Man of Storr (it's the finger of rock sticking out in the photo). She explained that it was carved by a grateful brownie (brunny) as a monument for a man who had saved his life. Rather it is part of the Trotternish Ridge, a huge landslip, since eroded by climatic variation and anthropogenic disturbance during the mid-late Holocene.

She also told us that brownies live in the hills at the foot of the mountains, and that it if we were to meet a brownie and be invited back to the brownie world, to make sure that we didn’t eat or drink anything as time runs more slowly in brownie world. This is borne out by the special theory of relativity

We also learned about kelpies, half horse and half water-creature, who live in the Storr Loch and kidnap children into the depths. Brr. No mention of selkies though.

Photo ops at Lealt Falls and Kilt Rock (it's the textured bit of rock in the background - squint a little), then to the cursed ruins of Duntulm Castle. Lots of bad things went down here. For example - Hugh MacDonald was imprisoned here. He was given salty meat and fish in order to drive him mad. However, he only ate as much meat as was balanced out by the amount of water he was brought. So… they filled his tankard with sand. The resulting thirst caused him to eat his own hands.

The castle was abandoned in 1730 after a nursemaid accidentally dropped a baby out of a window and into the rocks below. It is now closed off to the public, as of two weeks ago, because a wall fell on someone. We all clambered all over it anyway.

We continued through the town of Uig, back over the Skye Bridge, and to the Plockton Inn for supper and beer. I had a veggie haggis, and learned some card tricks from a ‘friendly’ local.

Scotland - Day 1

For our first Bank Holiday, we booked ourselves a three day “Highlands and Skye” tour of Scotland. We thought it would be a good whirlwind introduction to the land of peat, lochs and rain.

After some hand wringing about the best way to get to our starting destination of Edinburgh (why not spell it Edenborough then?), we decided to take an overnight coach bus. Turns out that, unless you buy tickets about a year in advance, trains are as expensive as planes, and planes are too expensive! The bus is very cheap.

We didn’t have the best start, as the bus was really late to arrive and we were waiting in the rain. We were worried about missing our tour at the other end, but we got there in the end - after an excellent night’s rest (not).

By the way, Edinburgh looks great! We plan to come and stay another time…

So, tour – I believe there were 14 of us, plus our exuberant guide Fiona (Fee), an authentic Scots lass. We made friends with a couple of Canadian girls (from whom I am cribbing the following lovingly detailed itinerary – thanks Tiff!) and were at least on speaking terms with a few others. J Well, one has to make an effort. Especially when sharing the same bedroom!

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First stop was the Wallace Monument, just 2 miles outside of Stirling (Fee’s home town). Dedicated, of course, to William Wallace, beloved by the Scots for his passionate defiance against the English, for which he was ultimately betrayed and horribly executed.

A large tower, entirely funded by public donation, was built on Abbey Craig in 1869, where Wallace had watched the English army approach before routing them on Stirling Bridge.

Next we drove through the Trossachs and stopped in at Kilmahog to visit Hamish the highland bull. There was an opportunity to hand feed him some veggies (he has a big sloppy mouth) and buy Hamish-related merchandise. We picked up a couple of postcards. We also wondered how many “Hamishes” there have been over the years.

Then we drove through Tyndrum, and stopped at Glencoe, site of an infamous massacre. We stood in the wide green gully, with rain in our faces, as Fee recounted the whole sad saga. In 1692, on the order of King William III, Clan Campbell wiped out the native Clan MacDonald, in act of treachery so terrible that people with the name “Campbell” are still not welcome in town. Yikes!

This will be the first of many bloody stories about Scottish history.

On the way out of Glencoe, Fee produced a bottle of Tamdhu Scotch whisky (“water of life”) to officially welcome us. This made several rounds through the bus to choruses of “Slange-varr” (“Good Health” - “Slainte Math” in Gaelic). It didn’t outlast the trip.

Next stop, grocery shopping at Fort William. I remember that Deb spent a lot of time here, so I took plenty of photos for her. On the way out we stopped at a memorial for the British Commandos, who were trained just outside the village of Spean Bridge. From there we had a view of Ben Nevis, the highest mountain in the British Isles. No doubt they made the poor buggers double-time it with a full pack after extra rations of spaghetti sauce.

Last stop of the day was the castle from The Highlander! Hooray! (Also from The World Is Not Enough, but that film is better forgotten.) Eilean Donan Castle is apparently the most photographed site in Scotland. Well, there can be only one.

Stayed the night at the train station Bunkhouse in Plockton, opposite the Isle of Skye. We had pizza, salad, and bread for supper and then strawberries and cream for dessert, mmm!